Heads up, more dark souls

The absolute worst part of the entire souls experience for me personally?  The bed of chaos fight.  URGGHHHH.  SO BAD.

Now, It's not that it's a gimmick fight that bothers me so much.  The ancient dragon from demon's souls was a gimmick fight that basically played out the same.  What bothers me so much about the bed of chaos is the overall design.

To win, all you have to do is strike the three glowing weak points.  Not obvious at first, but easy enough to figure out.  Obviously she can't just let you do this or it wouldn't be much of a fight, so she has these massive sweeping and pounding attacks that stagger you and knock you all over.  Fine.  The problem comes when you break the first seal and the ground starts breaking away.  All of a sudden these massive sweeping attacks go from painful and annoying to instantly deadly.  Which would be fine, if the arena was set up in a way where you could watch the boss and pay attention to not falling to your death.  After the second seal the flame blast attack starts and things just get out of hand entirely.

I've never beaten this boss on the first go, no matter how good I get at the game in general I always get hit by something, and stagger for what feels like an eternity, and then get brushed aside into the hole.  You can't watch the boss's attacks, or you fall in a fucking hole.  You can't watch where you're going, or the boss hits you and you fall in a fucking hole.  There's something just so terribly unsatisfying about dying this way, and it really ruins the entire experience for me.  I'm not against bosses with heavy attacks that 100% kill you if they land, but being knocked down a hole just isn't the same.  Trying to get your souls back here is a fools errand as well.

Two guaranteed deaths, every goddamn time.  At least the seals don't respawn.  Man I would probably STILL be stuck there on my first play through if that were the case.

The ancient dragon, comparatively, is so much better designed.  Sure his attacks are instantly lethal, but he's always in view, and there are very clear indicators of when he is going to destroy you.  You have just enough time to get from point A to point B and it works really well.  It's still not an actual fight, but it is much more enjoyable.

So needless to say, I beat ornstein and smough.  After about three attempts I got frustrated beyond belief.  I had gone out of my way to get the rite of kindling and I couldn't even touch them without using all my flasks.  So I took a break.  I wandered around new londo and killed the guardian of the seal (which made me feel like a piece of shit.) grabbed the very large ember and upgraded my longsword to +15.  Then I wandered around a little more until I had calmed down and leveled up a couple times.

When I got back a couple hours later I just had a zone moment.  I pulled ornstein away by exploiting his dashes, rolling and running for smough, getting a few quick hits in on the fatty and hauling ass out.  Doing more than 40 damage per hit helped a lot, but mostly not freaking out helped the most.  Once I got rid of smough, Super ornstein was a joke.  I keep hearing that he's the tougher super form boss, but really, his spear has a minimum range, and once you roll inside of that, he only has two attacks that can hit you, both of which are easy to spot and avoid.

Then again, I also hear SL50 is high for the first time through, but whatever.  I beat them, alone.  I definitely will take out ornstein first next time, he's easy to lure away and then roll inside of.  Though I do think the massive buttslam aoe of super smough is more difficult than anything ornstein has on offer.  OOh I gotta buy his armor set too before I forget.

This fight is by far the defining experience of dark souls.  It breaks a lot of people.  I still remember when the game was new people telling me I had to summon, that doing it alone was suicide.  Beating them on your own was an amazing feeling.  It still is today.  The fight is well designed and brutal, but once you have a clear head and know what you're doing, it is winnable.

I've been told there is a similar fight towards the end of the second game but it isn't nearly as well designed and is super frustrating.  I look forward to seeing it first hand so I can compare.

Best point so far?  Great Wolf Sif.  It's bad enough they make you fight a giant beautiful wolf that's protecting its master's grave, but then it limps when it's almost down, and its attacks are wild and ungainly, clearly not posing any more real threat.

Most of the enemies in this game are hollow, repugnant monstrosities, but Sif is a grand, noble creature.  Killing him feels wrong.  Killing him IS wrong.  But you have to.  The four kings have to be put down and the only way to do it is with the ring of the abysswalker.

OH GOD SIF I'M SORRY!  ;_;

Brings a tear to my eye everytime.  I need a break before I go after Seath.  I definately wont feel bad killing that asshole.

Also, killing crossbreed priscilla basically makes you a monster.  And you don't even HAVE to kill her.  Unless you want that platinum trophy, and let's face it, you do.

You monster.