When he died at the end I was almost happy.

So king kong, is without a doubt, the worst game I have played within the last 3-5 years. What bothers me about this though is how GOOD everyone claimed it was back when it was released around the launch of the 360.

I hate this game for making me realize that there are times when fighting T-rexes with a giant monkey isn't totally awesome.

To be fair, the king kong segments WOULD be awesome, if you didn't have to mash yourself into early onset arthritis on the b button just to fucking do anything. There's literally a segment where you fight three t-rexes at once, and every time they grab you, to survive you have to MASH THE B BUTTON, and to kill them you have to MASH THE B BUTTON, and when you're finally done and your thumb is throbbing you have to MASH THE B BUTTON to open a gate and leave! Then you have to do the same shit over again ten minutes later! I seriously thought only nintendo was fucking stupid enough to think mashing a single button as hard as you can qualified in any way as a game. I didn't rent mario party for God's sake.

The shooter segments are fucking horrible. They literally consist of: Find a stick to ram into a log to use as a lever, find a torch to burn some bushes, shoot some dinosaurs. They then take that formula and copy paste it for 20 fucking levels. Though to be fair a couple levels consist of a single action, like the one where you literally just jump off a bridge. But god damn, I though valve was bad with that see-saw puzzle they put in every half life episode. Running from dinosaurs with a limited supply of ammo should be awesome, but it's not. You HAVE to kill most of them, so it becomes an exercise in saving ammunition and throwing spears.

Also, while purely a cosmetical complaint, the character models are hilariously bad. They look like someone whipped them up in poser over their lunch break, and they move/talk like it too.

This kinda shit would've been embarrasing ten years ago. It would've been embarrassing compared to Daikatana! Why the fuck did everyone love it so much?

The main character is a writer that kills dinosaurs for fuck's sake. It should be awesome!

And yes, I did choke my way through the entire thing for the achievement points. I'm not proud.

Hal